Living and Not Just Existing: What That Means to Me Lately!

Good morning, friends,

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to live and not just exist.

This post isn’t just a cute blog title or something to throw on social media for clicks. For me, it’s become an on-and-off chat I’ve been sharing with my husband, my family, and a few close friends.

I’ve spent enough time on autopilot, waking up, checking off the to-do list, sitting in back-to-back meetings, answering emails, clocking out at 6 PM, and repeating it all the next day.

 I’m not complaining because I know how to be “productive.” I’ve done it well for over 50 + years. But somewhere along the way, I realized I was functioning on repeat. 

Am I truly living, or am I just coasting?

The truth is, the past three years have shaken me in ways I haven’t shared out loud except with those closest to me.
I’ve lost several people in my life suddenly.
Two of them were younger than I am, and one was only five years older.
And just like that, they were gone. :(

Although it was heartbreaking, this grieving part of my life has also been a wake-up call.
Because no matter how “normal” loss may feel in theory, it never hits softly.
Their deaths made me pause. Made me re-evaluate my life as a whole.
Life is moving fast, and meanwhile, I’ve just been… being me day in and day out.
Breathing, surviving, showing up, but not always present. The funny thing is, I never noticed my life circling like that. Because it was normal and I thought it was fine. 

And listen, that’s not a bad thing, surviving is still something to be proud of doing. But I’m ready to do more than survive. I want to feel life again. Fully outside of work and showing up for others all the time. 

It doesn’t have to mean booking flights or doing things just for the ’Gram.
Sometimes, living is as simple as:

• Calling my loved ones instead of sending a quick text
  
  

• Sitting outside just because the weather outside is nice, like back in the day when sitting on the porch gossiping was a good thing. :) #goodoledays
  
  

• Saying yes to things I used to overthink, like grabbing coffee with my friends without taking three weeks to plan. A meet-up.
  
  

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I realize it’s time for a switch-up.
I’ve spent years giving, creating, teaching, and showing up online, and I’m proud of that. But now, I’m ready to live out loud and with intention. And, yes, I will be documenting every inch of it.

I’ve started romanticizing my life again & unapologetically.
Lighting a candle on a random Tuesday.
Wearing my “cute” outfits even if I’m just heading to the grocery store.
Eating junk food while watching a raunchy movie that makes me laugh way too loud.
Putting on music while I clean our home.
And simply enjoying things for no reason at all.

It may sound mundane,  but I’ve realized life has gotten so busy for me that  I haven’t stopped to smell even one rose.
Not one, and that’s got to change.

Because merely existing in survival mode 24/7, that’s not the goal anymore.

Living in the moment now, that’s the new flex.

These days, I’m choosing to be present.
To take up space.

To find joy in the ordinary and meaning in the small stuff.
Not perfectly.

That’s where it starts, and yes, it’s that simple. Oh and I got myself a new book.

Just my thoughts for the morning.
What does “living, not just existing” look like for you?

Let me know in the comments, and as always…

See ya in the next post!
xo,
Tangie