Sometimes the best self-care is simply not caring at all :) No pun intended!
The time has finally arrived in my life when implementing a Don't Care Day is vital to living a peaceful, ageless lifestyle. #hearmeout
A couple of years ago, I found myself sitting in my car, tired and drained after a long day of errands, right after working all day. By the time I pulled into my apartment complex, I was too exhausted to even think about the things I wanted to do for myself. I sat in my car for two hours before going inside, just thinking and re-thinking.
After the third hour, that's when I had my first Ah-Ha moment: if I didn't start making time for myself, no one else was going to do it for me. And that’s how my "Don’t Care Day" was born.
Let me clarify: A "Don't Care Day" is not the same as a self-care day. While self-care might involve pampering yourself, like getting your nails done or indulging in skincare, a Don’t Care Day is different.
It’s not about doing what’s considered productive or beneficial. It’s about reclaiming your time to do exactly what YOU want: no interruptions, no obligations, no guilt.
My POV: Sometimes, As Women, We Can Be So Tired From Doing and Going That It Becomes Normal Not To Stop And See About Ourselves. Most times, loved ones and friends never notice you need a break because we wear a superwoman cape 24/7.
Imagine this when taking a don’t care day: You wake up and decide to keep your phone on airplane mode. You sip your coffee today without checking your email or scrolling through social media.
Maybe you pick up that raunchy romance novel you’ve been meaning to start, or you work on a hobby you love but never seem to have time for. Or maybe you do absolutely nothing at all—and that’s perfectly okay. We don’t bully or judge over here:)
As women, we often feel pressured to show up for everyone else: family, friends, work, and even social expectations. But showing up for yourself is just as important.
In fact, it’s non-negotiable. And before anyone thinks I’m suggesting abandoning responsibilities altogether, let me say this: of course, emergencies are an exception.
But if it’s just another day of someone calling to gossip or asking for something that can wait, my answer is, "Not today."
I finally got to see Michael this past Monday, right before it left theaters. I walked in already knowing I was going to feel something, because I am a true die-hard when it comes to Michael Jackson and his story.
I remember being a kid, collecting every magazine that had his picture in it. I would cut the photos out and tape them all over my bedroom wall. I was twelve years old when Billie Jean started playing late at night on MTV. I wasn’t allowed to stay up, but that didn’t stop me. I would hide under the bed, turn the TV down extra low, just so I could see him.
I remember crying back then, and not because of Michael himself, but because of his vision and his dream. Because he was the first Black human I could see who had made it out of poverty and into the American Dream. Outside of what the media later chose to focus on, his life and story were hope for little Black kids all around the globe, especially me. His music didn’t just play; it pulled you into his world.
I’ve seen every documentary. My favorite movie has always been The Jacksons: An American Dream. I never wanted to be a singer, but somehow, through him, I could see my own dreams being possible as a kid. He made dreaming feel real.#realtalk
This biopic, though, was something different. It was a mind-blower and eye-opener. It showed so many personal layers about Michael, the creator, and Michael, the man with a heart. One thing that stood out to me more than anything was seeing the studio on his property in Encino, California, where he lived with his family. After practicing with his brothers, he would go straight into working on his solo material.
What amazed me was how intentional he was; he wrote everything down. He kept notes everywhere. Songs, visions, affirmations. He spoke life over himself daily.
“I am the greatest.”
One of the most famous affirmations. He would repeat it quietly before performances and rehearsals.
“I am a winner,” and “I can do this.”
Simple, but powerful. Something he repeated when pushing through difficult choreography or creative blocks.
“I am confident.”
Spoken deliberately, even when confidence hadn’t caught up yet. He believed belief came first.
“I am strong.”
“I believe in myself,” was my favorite
This one felt especially deep. In a world that constantly judged him, he learned how to self-soothe and self-validate.
“This will be great.” #lovethis
Michael spoke of success before it happened, visualizing the outcome long before the applause. This movie was an amazing 10 out of 10.
Walking out of the movies with my husband, we were smiling and feeling motivated. I also didn't just feel entertained. I felt reminded about the struggle and how long it takes for life to go in the direction I wanted. I was reminded of how powerful belief is, how vision starts quietly and alone, and how sometimes the greatest impact isn’t just the dream, it’s the hope someone leaves behind.
I am so glad I took a day off to do nothing but learn something.
It’s taken me years to stop and truly appreciate my life's small, mundane moments. For too long, I was caught up in the hustle of work and endless to-do lists for others.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that constantly running around doesn’t enrich my life. Honestly, it just exhausts the heck out of me.
So, I made a change by carving out intentional time for myself, unapologetically. Making time for a good movie was just what I needed to let go of doing things.
I am motivated to wake up with no alarm clock, drink my favorite coffee, and start the day working on my vision and dreams before doing anything else for anyone else.
I make it a point to pull out my craft supplies and work on one of my denim bags daily now. That is my pride and joy, not to mention it keeps me busy and focused.
I run no errands, answer no phone calls from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. It’s just me, my thoughts, and the things I want to do that bring me joy.
If you’re wondering what a Don’t Care Day might look like for you, think about the things you’ve been putting off because "life" keeps getting in the way.
Maybe it’s a long walk in the park, finally starting that pottery class you’ve been eyeing, or spending the afternoon binge-watching your favorite show guilt-free. Whatever it is, make it personal and make it all about you.
Think About It: Before you finish reading this, pick a date and mark it on your calendar, and claim your Don’t Care Day. Don’t wait for the perfect moment because it may never come. Take charge of your time and prioritize yourself. You deserve it.
So, whether it’s staying in bed all morning and showering that night, strolling through a museum, or simply curling up with a funky book, let your Don’t Care Day remind you that you’re worth it. Start small if you need to, but start. Your peace, your joy, and your time are priceless.
This past Monday, I got a chance to see Michael Jackson
Remember: life is too short not to take a day off from the world. Make your Don’t Care Day count. Now go ahead, pick that date and make it happen. You’ve got this.
Drop me a comment:)
Here’s to living life beyond existing!
Xo Tangie Bell
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