Why I Post: Documenting My 50-Something Life

                                                       

Why I Post: Documenting My 50-Something Life

A look back at why I document my life in my 50s, creating, learning new lessons, and choosing to live fully instead of just existing.

Here’s the thing about life: it’s moving so fast I can barely keep up. And no matter how I try, every minute of my day feels accounted for. I’m not home all day cooking and cleaning either. Those things wait on me in the evenings, like they always have.

So, somewhere in between working, living my life, thinking out loud, and trying to catch my breath, I realized something: documenting my life right now, in my 50s, feels vital and necessary for me not to lose those milestones in this chapter of my life. (Whew, I just said a lot)

The other day, I read something on an Instagram post that said 50-year-old women and men shouldn’t even be on the internet. That we’re supposed to be the watchers, not the creators. 

Y'all, I laughed so hard for real. Because that might be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.

So let me say this on my behalf on why documenting my older is the jigsaw puzzle that’s missing in my life. 

In my defense, or lack thereof, I don’t post to be an influencer. I post because I’ve always been a creator. I’ve been writing, making things, and thinking up ideas since I was a kid and pre-Internet. Back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, there wasn’t really a place for someone like me to share that freely. I had to wait mainly because there wasn’t any access. I  had to hope and dream a lot. Not to mention, I missed a few life steps that I needed to succeed

So when social media opened up, I didn’t see being an influencer; I saw an opportunity. I saw access granted:) 

I saw a place where I could finally share my crafts, my blogs, my thoughts, my little pieces of creativity without waiting for permission.

Why wouldn’t I use that? I’ll wait while you answer. 

I have ideas in me,  I have things I’ve made with my hands and my mind, and I want to see it come to pass in my life. And I don’t want any of that to die with me and sit in the grave like it never existed.

And if I’m being honest, back in the day, my generation had to work a little differently for it. We didn’t grow up in a time when one video could change your whole life overnight. So yes, I give credit to this younger generation for figuring that out.

But as for the older folk, we’re still here, and we’re still wanting more, still creating, still trying to keep our dreams alive.

Because life is happening right now, and at the end of the day, those of us who are over 50 years old have waited long enough to live a life beyond existing. And that's on #realtalk

And for the most part, I’ve raised my kids. And there are moments now where my apt home is quieter than it used to be. I’m not needed in the same way every second of the day. And that shift has me asking myself, now what?

So, I started doing the things I always said I would do.

I started my online business, which led to creating more. 

And if someone happens to feel a way about that or if it’s hard for them to understand me chasing something at this stage in my life: trust me when I say, I get it. 

Not everyone sees the full journey behind where I am today. This life didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a process, a path, my little becoming of her. And to me, it’s something worth sharing on and offline.

Because now, I want to remember it while I’m living it.

Not later, or not when everything is perfectly wrapped up and easy to explain. 

I want the right now, the random days, the slow days, the small wins, and the moments where I’m figuring things out as I go.

I want something I can look back on and say, this is who I was in this season.

And let me say this too:  being 50-something does not mean life is over. It doesn’t mean I stop showing up for myself, or stop exploring, stop laughing hard, or dressing how I want to dress.

It doesn’t mean I need to look for a fly walking cane.

If anything, I feel like I’m just now understanding what it means to live on my own terms.

And along the way, if another woman sees me and feels a little less unsure, if she starts to think maybe she can try something new too,  then that is what matters to me.

Because one of the hardest parts about this stage of life is not knowing. Not knowing how things will change so quickly. 

I didn’t know either, but I am saying yes to learning.

And what I’m learning, I’m willing to share.

Because this is bigger than just posting pictures or writing blogs. This is me learning how to live life, and not just exist in it. There’s a difference because I’ve done the autopilot thing. I’ve done the routine without thinking twice about it. 

Now I want a life with purpose, I want joy,  I want softness in my life. I want to actually feel the days I’m living instead of just getting through them.

And honestly, even something as simple as posting can be a form of art to me. Its expression. It’s my creativity, and it’s me putting something out into the world that didn’t exist before I made it.

That’s enough reason all by itself. #micdrop

But if I had to leave you with one last thing, it would be this.

Women are often taught to disappear with age. To step back, tone it down, and watch instead of participating.

Friendl, I don’t agree with that.

And I hope somewhere in all of my postings, all of my sharing, all of my figuring-it-out-in-real-time moments: someone sees it and feels this: It’s not too late.

It’s not too late to start living a life that feels like yours.

If this post resonates with you, please drop a comment.

Here’s to living beyond existing.

Xo Tangie Bell