Getting Back To That Slow Burn Love

As a Black woman aging, I’m looking at life through a whole new set of spectacles. Yes, I am telling some of my personal business. 

I’ve spent most of my life working, hustling, keeping everything together, but not always nurturing the one person who needed it most: my hubby (Rico). #mylovelife

Growing up, I didn’t have a real example of what Black love looked like in a home. My mom never married, but she raised us as if two parents were there every day. I learned strength, independence, and how to “do it all because that is what my mother did,” even if it wore me thin.

So when I met my husband, please believe I had a wall so high it needed its own city permit to operate. And on that wall was a sign that basically said: What can you do for me that I can’t do for myself? And yes, I really did say that

And, yeah, it sounds like a Tyler Perry plotline, but the folks who know me know this was my real life and true story. 

Anyways, I was stubborn but ready for love, even if I didn’t know how to say it. And my soulmate, who later became my husband, did something so crazy. He answered that stupid OZ question.
He said, “I came to take care of you and your kids, if you’ll have me. I only want to be an addition to your life.” Screaming, I am not joking one bit. :) #thatsmymanrightthere

But I looked at him as if he was crazy, because he was younger than me, for one. Although he had a good job, I couldn’t get past the age gap. It wasn’t that bad, but he was so persistent. 

Rediscovering Joy at 50-Something: My Life, My Style, My Way

Hey Friends, this was me at 6 A.M: Talking to myself.LOL, Please don’t judge me, it’s been a long FUNKY year. 

Ok, here is my morning chat: Is joy something you have to try and find, or something you realize you already have, but it needs to be activated?

There is much to be said about rediscovering joy in the midst of life and finding your own personal style. With so much changing every day, it feels harder and harder to keep that joy bucket overflowing. Y'all life be lifeing.

But after rereading the meaning of joy a few times this week, I finally realized it isn’t a physical thing at all. It’s an emotion tied to time, living time, and joy only grows when I accept that I deserve to be happy in my life and stylish at any age. 

According to a quick Yahoo search, joy simply means a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. Example: Tears of joy.

And honestly? That might be what’s missing for so many folks walking around mad for no reason. Sometimes the missing piece is just… finding joy. Yep. It really is that simple.

Back in the day, when my siblings and I moped around like the world was ending, my mama would yell, “Go outside and make mud pies! Find something to do before I give you something to look sad about.” Translation: chores, folding laundry, hanging clothes on the line, our version of punishment. But what she really meant was, you don’t have a reason to be sad… go find some joy. Do something

As a kid, I didn’t get it, but now? Oh, I get it.

The Mundane Is Saving Me Right Now

Hey friend, let’s face it, finding and keeping a high level of joy can feel like a lot sometimes, especially when life keeps spinning in uncertain circles. But honestly, I’m learning to find it in the small, mundane things of everyday life.

First things first, we're getting up, putting on actual clothes, and leaving the house to do something besides work. Yep, I said it: I’m skipping out on life’s responsibilities. #dontJudge #lifeislifing

I  know things around the world are still weird and halfway locked down (meaning the government), but that’s exactly why I’m sticking to things right here in my neighborhood.

Lately, I’ve been intentional about supporting local spots. I went to the bookstore and grabbed a few new reads to chill with at home. I’m slowly backing away from the internet, too. Mostly because it feels boring and repetitive. Everybody’s saying the same thing (myself included). I’m not leaving social media, just giving myself room to enjoy things that actually make sense.

Since work has been a little slow, so  I’m back out here smelling city flowers again.
Yes, literally, touching grassy grass.:)

My Friday Mood List: The Little Things Keeping Me Happy

Here's To New Starts And Creating A System To End the Year!

Ok, here we go again, another month has flown by faster than a jet heading to Paris. It’s been a busy past 30 days, but I must say I’m ready to glide right into November and December. Well, not really “fly,” because I’ve got so much to share with you guys. #comingsoon :) 

But for now, I’m going to focus on my Friday Mood.

Within less than 60 days, we’ll be wrapping up 2025, and I have to admit, I’m so ready. I’m already gearing up for the new year. Because at this point, 2025 can kick rocks. :) #nopunintended

I’m also thankful to have made it through the earlier part of this season of change in my life. I’ll be celebrating a few milestones this year, and I can’t wait to share those moments, too.

Finally

Finally..

Note: I originally wrote this piece back in my 40s during a season of reflection and growth. Reading it now in my 50s feels like opening a letter I once wrote to myself. It’s funny how much of it still rings true, but with even deeper meaning. Sometimes life has to age a bit before the lessons really settle in.

Open thoughts: There is no need to throw a stone or even catch one. Sometimes we just have to watch a few beautiful rocks by the seaside, along the shore, or even by the street corners. It' called the art of noticing things around you.

And Today I must admit,  I’ve finally got it. It all makes sense now.

When I was younger, I thought I knew it all; in fact, I couldn’t wait to be all grown up. Not realizing I knew nothing, and it would take a lifetime to learn just one important thing. But what’s important to one person may not be important to another. Nonetheless, life lessons will always come, good or bad, and each of us must learn from whatever crosses our path.

Being in isolation taught me three valuable things, and I had to write them down in my aging notes. So, let’s jump right into what I learned, shall we?

Being 50-Something: The Art of Noticing Things Around Me

Good morning friends, last week I drafted something in my notes that I wanted to share today. Somewhere between the rush of my twenties and the feelings of oh my goodness, I’m in my fifties, I started noticing things again. 

Not in a deep, never saw coming way, I’ve just been noticing little things that I never paid any attention to when I was younger.  Although this may seem deep in theory, I find it fascinating that I notice it now. It has almost tripped me out visually, because why didn’t I notice this about things before? #asimpleLIFe

The way a sign peels at the edges. The way color fades and still finds a way to be beautiful. The way a day out with someone you love can feel brand new, even after years together.

I used to chase big moments in my life, but now I chase seeing things differently, the feel of texture, and the sound of laughter with family from across the table. 

Being 50-something has turned noticing into its own quiet art. It’s like slowing down long enough to actually see the world I’ve been walking through all along. #realthoughts

So maybe this is what peace looks like: a collection of small details, saved in snapshots, layered with gratitude and curiosity.

Saturday Girl Talk: The No-Plan Plan

Saturday feels different when you finally give yourself permission to slow down. Last night, I didn’t set an alarm, I didn’t map out a checklist, and I didn’t plan out my weekend. Today, I am just going to pour my coffee, sit on my sofa, and let the day go by.  Growing up, Saturdays meant waking up to the smell of breakfast and flipping on the TV for cartoons. Life felt easy back then; nobody rushed you, nobody expected you to “be productive.” Ok, wait, Mama did make us do chores all day on Saturdays. And we churched all day on Sundays. Oops, I almost forgot, even as a kid, I was pretty much as busy as a bee. 

That could explain how, somewhere in my adulthood, Saturdays turned into a second Monday. Grocery shopping, running errands, cleaning, catching up. It has been a never-ending cycle that I am learning now; I need to jump off. It is amazing how simple tasks can take over your life.